I wrote this last week for someone I dearly love who seemed to really need to hear it. It likely fell on deaf ears (eyes?), but maybe someone who reads this blog needs to hear/read it too. (A little disclaimer from me before you start…I have been on both sides of moral wrong, both committing it and holding other people to my standard of it. Neither is okay; but there is grace and love, and I am dependent on both.)
I often find myself upset about something. I get mad, and I make a stand. I hold to that with everything I have. I will not back down. To back down would be to admit I was wrong. More specifically, I was not right. And I am not generally (read: ever) okay with not being right.
My sense of justice, and my steadfastness in holding to that, take precedence over everything else. And it isn’t always a “general” kind of justice. Often, it is a rule I have made or maybe a moral or religious rule that I have tweaked to become what suits me best.
What I am saying is, sometimes I take a stand for something I feel is right and I won’t back down, even when it threatens relationships with people I love.
When I am on the other side of it, when the situation has diffused and peace is restored, I can see that I put my “stand” ahead of love, ahead of relationships, ahead of people I hold the most dear.
The other thing I find is that, as hard as it is (and it is so extremely hard), once I am able to admit that I am wrong (again, I have a *really* hard time with this), there is such freedom.
It is exhausting to have to be perfect all the time. And to never be wrong is to be perfect. No one can do it.
What if we all could humble ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable enough to say “I can see now I was wrong”?
What if we, God forbid, allowed ourselves to be wrong about something, even if we have taken the biggest stand in regards to it?
What if we realized there is not all the shame and embarrassment we anticipate on the other side of admitting wrong? There may be a little, but in larger quantity, there is peace, there is forgiveness, there is transparency and the realization that we are all human and we all make mistakes.
What if we all decided love and relationships are more valuable than our pride?
What if we put people (love/relationships) first over ideals that we take a stand for?
And isn’t that what Jesus did? The Pharisees took their stands for the religious laws and rules. But guess what?…When they looked for Jesus (ya know, to make sure he was following said rules) they found him hanging out and eating with the worst scoundrels and low-lives around. He was making a point to say “People, love, relationships, peace, restoration….they are so much more important than the rules or the things you choose to make such a stand about.”
And He was right.
What if we all tried to do the same?
No matter how far you have taken that stand, it is never too late to just try.